I liked the way this sounds, and the way it makes images pop up in my head. (For some reason, i imagine people with frogs in their throats... but everyone is trying to swallow it, and pretend like it's not there, which works ok, until *ribbit!* [Don't ask.]) I think it definitely added tension to an already stressful scene. So far, I'm impressed, granted, we've only read 10 pages, but still. There's really good language in the way she works with words. Oh, and compared to Across A Hundred Mountains... nobody has died yet! :-)
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I like your comment about how no one has died yet! I couldn't tell if you like AAHM or not. So did you? I thought your simile was cool.(frogs) Awesome diddly job.
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